Advocate for Beauty

This may sound familiar to anyone who reads my other blog, but I think it bears repeating for those who don't.

In reference to this blog from the other:

It's up now, with a different name, at a different address than what I'd said a few posts ago. I've decided to stear the focus more toward the basic truth that God made women to be beautiful (and they all are!). And that us men were designed to notice and enjoy what we see. I'm starting to think that I'd much rather be mistaken for a pervert in looking forward to and celibrating these sexual Gifts than as a closed minded prude making women ashamed of their God given beauty (I'm serious when I say all of you).

Of course, I'm not going to let up on need to guard that beauty until the time and audience is right. I just want to be absolutly clear that I'm an advocate for that Beauty.

comments

Just a quick note to mention that I've changed the settings so that anyone can comment. Anyone but spam bots, that is.

Couldn't Have Said it Better

http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/2006/04/a_candle_among_.html

Half Truth

I've heard it said that the best lie is the one that's closest to the truth.

I was listening to Pandora.com earlier this morning and caught myself about to skip over a song that I reflexively identified as objectionable. The guy started singing about snuggling up with his sweetie in bed, I instantly brought up the window, and I hesitated.

Is this not a part of the Beauty I'm looking forward to? Is our sex crazed culture really that far off? Should Christian-folk really be any less excited about it than anyone else? (as long as we keep it in His context, of course.)

The lyrics never got anymore explicit that what I just described, and he didn't brag about or even mention that she wasn't his wife, so when I got over my initial reaction and rethought what I was listening to, it was really kind of sweet.

It seems like the Church is considerably more efficient at telling us what God has to say about what not to do before marriage, but what about after? Why do we hear so much more about the time Jesus equated gazing lustfully with adultery, than we do about, say, any thing from the Song of Solomon? Neither topic is kid stuff, so it can't be that we're too shy, can it? Is it just that it's easier to shun all sexual activity in general?

Seems like this is why church people are thought of as close minded or prudish about sex.

Beauty

"When God says 'no' to something, it's because He's saying 'yes' to something better."
~Joshua Harris

I only wish I could convey the sheer power of that beauty that you all have. I'm serious, all of you. Because of that power, and the feelings that I allowed that power to awaken, I sincerely believe that it was meant to be preserved for the sole enjoyment of your (future) husband.
When I am blessed with a wife, I certainly don't want her even slightly exposing herself to all the other hungry eyes out there. We'll each have rights to each other's bodies, and I don't foresee any desire to share.

I do not believe that men were meant to be aroused as we are in our culture by the women on display all around us. The male reaction of sexual arousal is a Natural response to the female body (God planed it that way to help man and wife to enjoy each other). The more of it that we can see, or even discern, the more powerful the urges.

Is it any wonder that so many men declare these urges as 'needs'? We are surrounded by constant stimulus. And it adds up. The effects are cumulative. The more cleavage I see, the more difficult it becomes to control my thoughts.

Women, of course function differently. The female sex drive is not activated by mere visual stimuli like us guys. So of course it could be easily overlooked in preparing the day's outfit, it's not something that naturally occurs to you ladies.

However... In a recent survey of 400 men, when asked how they would respond to a beautiful and/or scantly clad woman entering a room, only 2% said they were unaffected. The other 98% had answers that ranged from making a conscious effort not to look, sneaking glances, to staring outright and drooling.

See for yourself:
Create an account here. (I can vouch for their no-spam policy.)
See the survey here.
It's the very first question.

The point is, that it is Impossible for us not to notice how your bodies are presented. We can chose to ignore the signals that our own bodies are giving us, but it takes effort.

Through For Men Only, I've discovered that most women are programed to be more receptive of sexual advances, rather than to actively pursue. It's us guys that are wired for pursuit. And what is it that makes us take pursuit? Beauty.

I used to think the old classic paintings of nude women were done by perverts. (Not that I could really judge, since I could scarcely look at any without earning the same title for myself.) Though, some artists claim that they can admire the female figure without even a hint of lust. I'm still not sure I buy that, but whatever the motivation for putting the figure on canvas, the beauty is undeniable.

I Come in Peace

I feel I should appologise. A friend alerted me last night that I've already managed to offend some(one) with my my talk of male-self-control/feminine modesty. That I'd made them feel dirty, less than morally dressed. I don't know who or even how many, but please know that I did not intend to inflict feelings of shame and/or guilt. I'd really hoped that I wouldn't.

That being said, and given that most of this blog is going to come from my own personal experiance in my own continuing battle to keep my eyes on appropriate beauties... In the same conversation last night, the question was raised "which gender is less wrong?" (something to that extent anyway) It seemed an inavoidable question, and yet... it's really not the one I'm trying to answer here. I certianly don't want to be accused of starting a round of finger pointing. That won't help anyone.

So where does that leave us? I'm not entirely sure. I would greatly appreciate more feedback from the female perspective.

What's this all about?

I've been talking to a few friends about the concept of this blog, and was reminded of a few things I should make sure that I don't end up saying.

First of all, I'm not out to place the blame on women for turning men into lusty animals; we've done that all on our own. Controling our thoughts and/or actions is our own job.

Second, I'm not out to condemn anyone because of their clothing. I don't want it to sound like God has a required dress-code that has any bearing on how He feels about us or whether we get to chill with Him after we die. If I ever get to sounding focused only on mindlessly following rules like that, please stop me.

Finally, there are some folks out there who would say that the idea of modesty is based on being ashamed of your body. I'm really promoting just the opposite. It's about having enough respect for your body that you won't let just any male eye in the general public scan you into his fantasy center.

True, not all of us are that bad, but a lot of us aren't even that good. The man I was before I really got serious about listening to the God I'd been saying I believed in... I would easily count him among the worst. And while God's helped me overpower that side of me, I'm still a human male so the animal within is not really gone (and no, I'm not saying that the male sex drive is inherently bad either; only that it's more easily triggered than a lot of women seem to realize).

This blog is not about demanding change. It's about asking for help against a common enemy.