Sunday, September 16, 2007

Moving Day

This blog has now officially moved to

Blogged with Flock

Sunday, August 26, 2007


God willing, I'm going to revive this blog. There are going to be some changes in the days ahead. And as life is only just starting to settle down, I promise nothing about speed.

This Blogspot address will soon be obsolete. will be the only address to go to.

Blogged with Flock

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Attack-mode... Canceled

I owe you all an apology. I've still been coming at this issue in attack mode. You can thank my Beloved Wife-to-be for helping me realize that I haven't been honest with even myself yet.

I hate who I used to be. I used to visually gorge myself on women who made themselves visually available. I had trained myself in sneaking as many glances as possible since before I even knew what was behind my desire* (more on that later).

God's standard is "not even a hint" of sexual immorality, and I allowed myself a great many hints.

What I'm getting at is this:  When I would say that your neckline swoops a little too low, I left out my admission of guilt for having checked you out. I violated you with my eyes and was afraid to admit it. If you are a woman who has crossed my path, this likely includes you; especially if I ever tried to talk to you about it.

I admit it now, and ask your forgiveness.

I still am one of the creeps that I want to help you defend yourselves from. This is why I believe that I have insight into what changes would help. I am sorry if this was never clear.

What this self-realization means for the future of this blog, I'm not entirely sure. But I do know that I will try and be more explicit from here on out. About my weakness. About your bodies. About the power you all have over recovering perverts like myself.

For example:
Earlier this week, on my way home from visiting my Beloved, I spotted on the sidewalk a woman in a tank top. From the back, It was moderately conservative (as tanks go), but like most tanks, it was snug enough for me to clearly see her figure.

Because of my self-training in getting my eyes to "bounce" away rather than lingering, it was only a passing glance. Because of the sinful nature still within me, there was a second, slightly-longer glance.

I verbally reminded myself her body was "not mine not mine not mine," to enjoy and turned my full attention back to the road until I had passed her.

That was when I noticed the man approaching in the other lane. His attention was on the woman I had just passed. He wasn't exactly drooling, but he wasn't exactly ignoring her either.

Neither I nor this other guy (I hope) had sex on our mind. But we were still feeding our appetites. The sex-drive isn't picky; it takes what it can to build its strength so that it can fight for more.

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Sunday, March 11, 2007

Reviewing the Foundation

"Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak."
~1 Corinthians 8:9

This is the foundation of the content of this blog. Many women I've spoken to have asserted their right to dress however they want. This typically includes, in some form or another, the explanation that there is nothing inherently sinful about wearing any particular style of clothing. I've given up debating these points because they're true. And because they miss the point.

Men throughout the Church are struggling not to follow our culture's lead into lust . When you exersize your right to be sexy, you become another source of temptation in our already over-sexed world.

(I define lust as extra-marital sexual enjoyment; and for us men, looking is plenty enjoyable. [Why else would Jesus have equated it with adultery?])

A friend at a previous job once dismissed the dress code that required women to wear more than a sports bra to work. "I think we're all mature enough not to stare at our female co-workers," he'd said. At the time I didn't have the nerve to tell him that I myself was not that mature.

I admit it. I know myself to be weak in this area. God has led me a long way from the lust I used to wallow in, but it is still a weakness. It is "the thorn in my side" that keeps me dependent on Him. It is on behalf of men like myself that I am asking your help. I ask that you keep an open mind as I explain our struggle and what you can do to help. And I will do my best to also keep an open mind to those of you willing to help me understand the feminine perspective.

Next time I'll tell the tale of my own fall. (No promises when that will be)

Friday, October 27, 2006

To be Continued?

There's been a lot going on in my life lately. Working through my final semester of college, becoming betrothed and beginning wedding plans... I know I've been spotty with updates in the past, so it's only fair to warn that it could be several months before I get back into serious work on this blog.

In the mean time, for those few of you that actually follow this blog, I've set up with FeedBlitz to send emails whenever I update. This means you don't have to keep checking back here, but just wait for an email to tell you I'm back at work. (No spam, I promise) You can subscribe just to your right.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

It Does Not Take Much

Update: renamed entry

This is old news by now in the blogosphere, but no amount of procrastination can justify neglecting it entirely. And since I can't sleep tonight, this seems as good a time as any.

There was a big stink made over a photo of some bloggers who got to have lunch with former president Clinton. One of the women became the target of a lot of crude comments for wearing a shirt that fit more, *ahem* snuggly than the other ladies.

I'll throw my two cents in and say that there was room for a lot more maturity in the way people responded to her outfit. That side of it has been blogged to death already.

Since I'm probably going to get some actual outside attention for this post, I should point out that Jessica is not a part of my target audience; I've got no place to criticize her personally. (And even I have to say that I've seen a whole lot worse, even if it is beyond the standard I'm promoting.)

That said, it's worth noting just how quickly the innuendo started to fly. Her outfit was seen as sexy. Bloggers and commenters alike associated being sexy with sex. The fact that Clinton was there only magnified the effect.

I can't help but hear some of the comments in her defense as, "how dare you associate that poor innocent woman's sexy outfit with sex!" It just strikes me as silly.

How does it strike the rest of you?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Truely Modest Swimwear

Not long ago, I caught some blogger making fun of a new style of womens' swimwear. (Lucky for him/her, I lost track of their blog)

This blogger had a hard time accepting that such a radically different design could be modest when it would draw so much attention. This blogger also missed the point.

Modesty is not simply trying to avoid attention. Modesty is about avoiding inappropriate attention. Or to put it bluntly, it's about avoiding sexual attention.

I learned something about myself when I checked out the designs. As they came up on the screen, I could feel my eyes heave a huge sigh of relief. Without even realizing it, I've trained myself to visually tense up and keep my eyes on high alert when I know I'm going to see womens' swimwear.

With these designs, I felt for the first time that it was safe to let my guard down around clothing of this type.

Keep that in mind when you check out the designs at

UPDATE: I found it.