Tell me ladies; if you inadvertently dressed yourself in a way that one/some/all of your guy friends found distracting, how would you want him to bring it to your attention *Just to be clear, I'm only talking about between trusted friends. The topic is hot enough without having to hear it from a stranger? I'm sure most of you would be embarrassed if we made a scene. Would it make you too uncomfortable to have him look you in the eye and tell you that he is working to keep his eyes from going elsewhere as he's talking to you? (I'm not real comfortable with that myself) Or would it be worse to know that he let it pass without saying anything?
I've been told that the ideal would be to pass the message through an older woman in the church. Is that important enough that you'd rather wait? Or would involving a middle-(wo)man make it worse? A discrete email, perhaps?
Can you help us out?
4 comments:
hey kev, here's my personal ideal: pending on the guy and the level of trusted friendship we have, I would say pull me aside and let me know. Maybe I have a sweater in the car. On the other hand, if it is someone not in my circle of trusted friendship I would rather hear it from a woman whom I respect (note: a woman I respect- not just any woman)
This is just my personal opinion, so not all woman want to even be told that they are making men stumble... there are moments when I don't want to hear it either! But the point isn't whether or not we WANT to hear it... it's whether or not we NEED to hear it.
*points to Amber* I agree. ^_^;
I think it depends on peoples perseptions. I know you don't approve of some of the shirts I wear, I do. So in a case like that I wouldn't want you to tell me. I think I dress very modistly aside from wearing a sweatshirt and baggy jeans at all times. I like shorts and I like my tank tops.
Thank you, ladies.
I have to admit that I'm surprised how many of you focused on the level of trust. I'd really only meant that as a side note, but perhaps I struck a nerve?
I had wondered more about the akwardness of knowing that the person talking to you might be activly chasing away inapropriate thoughts about you. Or is that the side note from the feminine perspective? I'm actully more surprised at the lack of responce on that. (Hence my reason for suggesting alternatives for face to face)
While I agree with Amber that it's not about whether or not anyone wants to hear it, I've caught on that there are some people I just can't talk to.
Cassie here is actually one of the nicer dissagreements I've heard. It means a lot to me that you're still willing to hear what I've got to say.
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